Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Journey…long before we knew it (Part 1)

Israel has been on God’s heart long before we knew of him. God has had a divine plan for this little boys life from the beginning…let me share the story with you that I am talking about.

I have always wanted to have 4 children. After we had our first two, Jon decided that we had one boy and one girl and that was all we really needed. I bugged him, pestered him and I am sure at times drove him crazy with asking him when we were going to have more children! I prayed about it and asked God to change Jon’s heart. Finally when Jaxon, our youngest, was three I decided I couldn’t keep holding onto baby items anymore. I had saved EVERYTHING! Literally! All of Rachel & Jaxon’s clothes, the crib, changing table, high chair…seriously everything! The attic was full and we were running out of room fast! I asked Jon for the last time if he thought there was any chance we were going to have more children and he reassured me we were not. My heart sank, further than it had in times past. I prayed and asked God to please change my heart because this was such a hard thing for me. I completely gave God this whole situation, my heart, my dreams, everything! My heart longed for more children, but I knew my marriage was the first priority for me and it was not worth arguing with my husband about it any more. I got rid of all of our baby items! Everything except for a few special items from each child. I cried as I went through the tubs of clothes and reminisced about my sweet children being that small and how I would never get to put these clothes on another one of my children. My heart was sad knowing I would never carry a child in my womb again, never have the opportunity to give birth to another beautiful baby. Non the less, I continued on with the process of clearing everything out, hoping somehow it would help my heart to stop aching for more children.

It was almost one year later, to the date, that Jon came home from work as he did every day. But this day was different. Jaxon and I were sitting together and I will never forget what Jon said. He looked a Jaxon and said “Would you like to have a little brother or sister?” Now for those of you who don’t know Jon all to well…he is joking with what he says about 85% of the time…for real! He loves to kid around and tease people about everything! So when he said this I responded with “No Jon, you can’t joke about this! It isn’t fair to Jaxon to get him excited about something he can’t have. And You CANNOT joke around about something like this with me! It isn’t funny Jon!” He commented back with, “What if I am not kidding?” I asked Jaxon to leave the room and Jon and I talked. He shared with me how Gad had changed his heart on the idea of having more children, and that he did want to have more! I was shocked…and so surprised! It is amazing what happened when you “Let Go, and Let God” This is a phrase I have lived by for years and it was so exciting to see it come to, with this situation as well.

That’s not all…oh no…there is more…but that will have to wait until another day…I have to give you something to look forward to :-) (Plus if I kept going this post would take up the whole page, and then some!)


Erica said...

I'm gigglin. David was done with one. We were done with one. He was done with two FOR SURE. Then we decided just one more. FOR SURE done with three.....I always wanted four, he always wanted three but changed along the way. The day he emailed me from work and said he felt God pressing his heart to adopt.....sweet day. I still have the email. What an awesome God we serve. Children are absolutely a heritage from the Lord. Besides....two in a family is boring....more is definitely more fun!

Teresa said...

What a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing your heart and giving us all a wonderful reminder to Give "it" to God, whatever "it" might be in our lives!

Sarah said...

Hi Becca. I know you don't know me, but I'm a friend of Ericas. I just wanted to let you know that I was praying for you. I look forward to your updates, and can't wait to hear about your miracle with little Israel.